I attended a memorial service of a fellow church member this past Saturday. He had recently moved from the North to be closer to his children. His second wife has passed away, and after a forty year separation from his children (his first wife brought them to Georgia after the divorce), he was able to reconnect. He lived with his oldest daughter, and she told us that she learned more about her dad in these past nine months than she had known in her 50 plus years.
After the service, several of us commented about our own lack of knowing this man. We knew that he was a retired fire chief, but we didn't know he played the violin. We didn't know that he had rented equipment to build his house (on his own) in the side of a mountain, resold the equipment so that it didn't cost him anything to build the house. He was an environmentalist and had sung bass in a quartet and modeled in some musical magazine. He was a wood carver, and he had some beautiful pieces. When he knew he was dying, he got his wood shop in order "for the next person." There's so much we didn't know....
It got me and many others thinking. We see each other practically every Sunday, we attend other functions together, but what do I really know about these people I call family? I don't want to learn fascinating facts about them posthumously. What good is that?
I want people to know that I once thought the Devil lived in my mawmaw's basement, and I trapped my brother down there, trying to save myself. I want people to know that my brother and I thought we caused it to rain one night after performing a "rain dance"; we thought we had a gift!
People are just too busy for storytelling it seems.
But when we ask people to write something down to share, it's "time consuming," and becomes a chore, not a gift. (I'm thinking about my relatives at my family reunion.)
When I die, I don't want the celebrations in my life to be a surprise to anyone. I want people to smile in their memory of it, not look around in wonder.
What have you shared with your family lately?
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2 comments:
Interesting.
I think it's impossible to know everyone that intimately. My grandmother used to tell me lots of stories of her childhood, but I know there were things about her I do not know.
I also think that some people are more apt to "storytelling" than others.
Maybe people should take the time to ask others about their "fascinating facts".
This post made me think, "How am I telling stories to my own children?"
He sounds like he was a very interesting man.
You're right. We don't know everyone as well as we should, but then people only let you know so much about themselves.
I'm always surprised at what my children share about their childhood and I thought I knew them!! (I'm sure I really don't want to know EVERYTHING.)
Maybe we should have a sharing time next week when everyone is here. Let's make up a questionnaire like James Lipton does. Let me know.
YFA
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