My Most Memorable Memory

It's been awhile since by last blog (sorry, Mom), but this Saturday morning, because I've been up earlier than normal, I'm going to make the time.

I recently asked my seventh grade class to blog about something a little different: If they knew they were going to lose their mind but could keep ONE memory, which one would it be? (This also ties into the book we're beginning to read, I Am the Cheese.) So with that assignment, I thought, "Which one would I keep?'

I have many treasured ones: the day I got married, my first job, climbing the steps at Waterloo, flying in a private jet, driving across America, seeing my nephew Gunnar for the first time...the list goes on and on...

I was torn between three memories. Have you noticed that there doesn't seem to be as many lightning bugs as there used to be? When I was little, visiting my mawmaw in Greenville, SC, I loved catching lightning bugs and then going to take a bath where I would turn out the lights and bathe by the light of those bugs. Another one was a time that my brother and I did this rain dance because we needed rain. Again, I was in Greenville, SC, out on my mawmaw's front porch. We danced in a circle, whooping with our hands over our mouths. Then, lo and behold it rained! We thought we had the POWER! Gosh, we were so happy! Those two thoughts, remembering, just the joy of being a child, the innocence and wonder of it, creativity at its finest! I hate that we lose so much of that.

Although I love those memories, I think I would have to pick my college graduation - not the acutal graduation itself, but all of my family that came, and although it was a bit tense having exes together again, the happiness of having everyone there overcame that. And in keeping that memory, I would be able to remember so many family members, which is so very important to me. All three of my grandparents who attended have all passed on, so I think that's anohter reason why this memory stands out especially my pawpaw, who died the following Wednesday. It's just amazing how God works at times.

In addition to my family, I would also be able to remember the sense of accomplishment and how proud I was of myself. After being out of school for seven years and being married, becoming a full time student again was a little daunting, not to mention surviving Dr. Manigault and Dr. Fulton, but I did what had to be done.

I would always like to remember the happiness of being a child, but I think I would rather remember most of the people (my mawmaw had already passed on) in my life that had such an important impact in my life. I wouldn't be who I am today.

Being Appreciated

Lately, I've been in this "funk." School, home, church - it's all been a big "blah," and I've got to get out of it.

Recently I read in a story where a character asked another what three things she valued most, and how she went about expressing that value. Automatically I said, "Family, job, God," but when I tried to evaluate how I go about showing that value, I was stumped! Well, I call my mom every week, go to church weekly, and try to be an enthusiastic teacher, but, let's face it, that's not enough.
Then, as I was thinking how I can better show my appreciation, I wondered, "Am I appreciated? Do I appreciate myself?" M-m-m, it's a gray area there, too.

I hate to say it, but I think this feeling of "funk" derives from my job - more precisely, my boss. I don't think he appreciates what all I do, and that makes me irate! And to top it off, it's even worse because I am basing my worth on the expectations of someone else. I know all the self-help talk, but dang it! I want to hear the words from my boss-just to see if he notices. Is that wrong? Probably, because yes, when I'm gone, someone else will step in and do the work; I know I can be replaced, but yet...

So, since I can't change the situation, I guess I need to focus on what I can change - myself.
It's time to pull myself out of the mud.